Giving Thanks

The last child left at 5:05pm, I quickly made something for dinner and fed the baby. Bath Time, massage, books, nurse, bed followed. I briefly said hello to John as I walked out the door to head into town for some last minute items at the store. The house was messier than usual and I was feeling overwhelmed to say the least.

While I was still at the store my phone rang... "hello..." nothing "hello..." Sobbing. "Hayden it's mama, shshshsh, it's ok sweet heart, shshshshsh...." John - Honey Hayden needs you...

"Hayden needs you", those words play back to me while I hurray to finish at the store and safely speed home to my family. This day being the one of the first since he was born that I needed a minute. Just a little time alone. But Hayden needed me.

I walked in the door and looked into those weepy eyes as he reached out for me... A minute alone? there is no resentment, no frustration, truth is I needed him just as much! We snuggled down on the couch and as he nursed I sat silently in peace... a moment to my self, it didn't need to be alone.

As I softly lay him back in his crib, John came beside me and smiled at his peacefulness. I managed to get the house cleaned, the tables and chairs set up and decorated, I was just sitting down to wind my self down for bed, when that peaceful little baby of ours gave out a sequel, screech, and cry that made me jump out of my seat. Then the night really began. Who knows why (teeth most likely) but Hayden was awake for hours... when he finally went down, he would wake again just a short while later.

It was then 9:30am and family began to arrive, Hayden and I were beginning the day with less than three hours sleep. Twenty people for a lovely Thanks Giving Celebration in my home... they arrived at 9:30am and left at 9:30pm... Hayden was miserable, tired...too tired to sleep, I was disoriented and felt less than helpful in my own home and as the last of the guest left, John and I stood in the middle of our home and as I stared into the mess... I decided I really did need that moment alone!

It sounds of stress and frustration, but that is not how it felt.... there were moments of course, and there was sleep deprivation and overwhelming tasks but the feeling of Thank Giving this year was more abundant than ever for me.

I am so incredibly thankful for my strong, loving, honest parents who have given all they are to my siblings and I and now to my son. I am so incredibly thankful for my hard working, supportive, amazing husband. I am so incredibly thankful for my healthy, beautiful, miracle baby who has blessed our lives in every way and continues to do so each day. I am so incredibly thankful for my family and friends and for this life we have been blessed with.